My Facebook wall isn’t updating…

So I’ve noticed over the last few days that my Facebook wall is being COMPLETELY USELESS. When my friends post something, it doesn’t show up. The only way I know about it is from the email alert. Well most people have turned these alerts off so if nothing gets posted on your wall, how are you supposed to know about it??

The most annoying thing is: sometimes things show up, and then all of a sudden they disappear.

If I change my filters, sometimes things reappear. Only to disappear again.

I think facebook is awesome, and I love some of the new things they’re doing with it.

But WHAT in the HELL is going on with OUR WALLS?

SORT IT OUT FACEBOOK.

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Facebook Photos

If you use firefox like me, (ankers teebs), there’s a really useful add-on called FacePad which lets you download entire photo albums.

No more right clicking for us!!

Get it here.

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Dirty Lesbian Threesome Orgasm Sex – say what?

Hello all – I think they were right when they sang on Avenue Q that the internet is for porn. The funniest thing is, I think you can really learn a lot about someone’s sexual preferences by the porn they search for… in my (limited) experience of browsing through boyfriend’s searches and visited websites, there is always some common feature – from the regular stuff, eg ‘cum shots’ to slightly less regular stuff (not going to mention any in case I incriminate an ex).

Anyway – the reason I’ve labelled this post thus, is that I recently found out that people can search your blog for keywords and post titles and stuff, and this is how to generate ‘traffic’, or people to visit. Well – if you’ve visited (and read this far) and what you were really looking for was dirty lesbian threesome orgasm sex, then you might want to visit this site instead - go on, off you pop.

So far I’ve had next to no people reading (mostly because it’s on my facebook so no need to visit here), so we shall see if our erotic title really does boost readership. To be fair, it’s probably not the kind of reader one wants, but at the moment beggars cannot be choosers.

I also had 6 comments to approve (only just getting used to this wordpress lark), unfortunately they were all about penis enlargement or police car auctions. Hmph.

Anyway. I also joined twitter, as you can see from the widget I added. I am yet to find a truly worthwhile use for it but I suppose it’s there should I need it. At the moment I have like 4 friends or something so feel free to ‘follow’ me, or if you haven’t got an account, set one up and follow me

Right now I should be doing my final year work, it’s due in around 160 hours… that’s quite scary. Facing the possibility of ending up with a shit classification… wondering what *real* impact that will have on my life and if I might just lie about it anyway to get proverbial foot in office door. I’ve been sat here at my laptop for about 6 hours today, and I’d say around 5 of them were spent on ebay, looking at flats in manchester, looking at jobs in manchester, looking at club nights in manchester, looking at cat adoption sites, looking at car hire in malaga, looking at mods for my car (not as chavvy as it sounds), reading other people’s blogs, and of course, wondering wtf is up with facebook when it goes all fucked up and aligned to the left. I have also been disconnected and promptly reconnected to our wireless network around 37 times (fucking cheap bastard internet wireless fucking bastard.)  Sorry but it is tres annoying.

So lately people have been like, ‘so what are you going to do?’ by which they mean, what I am going to do with *the rest of my life*, something I should have had to answer to many years ago, but I have been putting off and staying at uni which was actually a bad thing as I am now well past my sell by date in uni terms, and lack motivation so much that it’s saddening how short I’m selling myself with it all. Anyway let’s not dwell. In terms of life goals, I suppose I’d just like to be happy – and I’m fairly happy now, except for dealing with Other People’s Shit, because when someone asks me for help I just can’t say no. Don’t get me wrong (especially if you’re a recipient of said help), I don’t mind doing it *mostly*, just, I do have my own shit to do and people forget that sometimes. My Pops has been what we kids call ‘on one’ lately, as he has a much larger version of my problem – dealing with Other People’s Shit when he has his own shit to do. And one wouldn’t mind so much, if people did some shit back for you. But THEY NEVER DONE IT.

This is why despite headache-inducing stress from certain things I have tried to keep it to myself and not bother others, especially Pops, and I think others have been following this trend, which would be great, only I’m second in the chain of shit command. If Pops can’t help with your shit (or you don’t want to burden him) ask Gem. (If Gem can’t help you, you’re fucked.) It’s a detestable thing to think about, and doesn’t want thinking about, but you do hope you’ll outlive your parents. Unfortunately for me, this will probably mean assuming the full boatload of Pop’s share of Other People’s Shit. Well I can tell you this for free; and mark my words youngsters, I shan’t be as soft and no mistake.

Pops doesn’t want you to end up destitute and in jail (despite years of help), but Gem – she no care.

OK. Maybe I won’t be that bad. But you’ll have to handle your own shit under my rule.

Enough of that I think.

Other recent events/planned events of note are thus: on Sunday (12th April) it was the 1 year mark for Jonny and I (official mark). We didn’t do much, but we made an amazing tea (I did do some, don’t listen to Jonny. Carrots and parsnips don’t prepare themselves. Mash doesn’t mash itself. And OK I didn’t touch the dead lamb but I did sprinkle seasoning on it, so, eff you) look out for facebook photos of that amazing spread. I didn’t eat the dead lamb (obvs) but I had 4 yorkshire puddings to make up for it. Yorkshire puddings + clear conscience > dead lamb.

Tomorrow I’m meeting Gav – friend and man about town – for an interview for my portfolio. More on that tomorrow I guess. Then it’s Laura’s birthday on Thursday – haven’t seen her in AGES, and no doubt celebrations will be postponed until uni is over, fair enough. It’s also Tanner’s belated birthday get together this weekend at Emma T’s…. got a feeling I’ll have to decline, or at absolute best pop round for an hour or something – annoying as I haven’t seen the gay dames in AGES.

It’s also the performance of the play I’m in – Hitchhiker’s Guide – next week, Tues/Weds/Thurs, which nicely coincided with my CW portfolio hand in, supposedly the culmination of 6 years at uni. Busiest week of my life so far looming I fear.

And what I am doing? Sat here writing a load of shit on a blog, whose only really interested reader is ME.

Right I’m off.

Happy birthday Katie – am looking forward to a night out in Leeds with Jonny’s team… even though I don’t like shouty music/sweaty boys/overenthusiastic body thrashing – hope my passport comes back in time or else I’m in trouble.

Right. Seeya.

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Postscript – I really should stop watching little britain/trailer park boys/curb your enthusiasm/flight of the conchords – as I can no longer say/write anything without their influence.

First Post of New Blog

Hello again lovelies. It’s been too long, hasn’t it? I know I terminated my old blog on my msn space (which is still available to view but I’m not adding to it), and actually I started a new, anonymous one, here on wordpress – fabulous – but actually it didn’t work out very well and I’ve deleted it and decided to start a new one. This one.

I think what I’ve realised my blog was best at, is two things. Firstly and foremostly (and I know I’ve said this before but it deserves reiteration) you cannot underestimate the theraputic benefits of writing down your thoughts and having a little rant. Simple as that. But secondly, and perhaps this won’t come off well, but it also facilitates the sort of mild stalking that one can do on facebook. I know you can only view your friends, but I have something like 500 of these friends, and for some, we’re really stretching the term ‘friend’. I think accepting someone on facebook whom you hardly know means really what you’re saying is, I don’t mind if you mildly stalk me.

In theory, I’d add everyone who was interested in mildly stalking me. Well it’s quite flattering really isn’t it? But you can’t do that, because it’s my friends and family on there too – and actually I don’t want some stranger stalking them, mildly or not.

This mild stalking sounds really malevolent, doesn’t it, but it’s not – there’s hardly any chance of rape or murder (shame) (joke), in this context what I mean by mild stalking is seeing what your ‘friends’ are up to without actually getting in touch with them. You can see who has a new car, a new boyfriend, a new dress. And pass secret judgement from the comfort of your own bed. It’s basically fucking amazing.

All of this sounds like we can’t be arsed to actually go out and have friends anymore, but actually that’s not true. Facebook is a fairly accurate measure of how much you’re friends with someone. It’s all about how many photos you’re tagged in together. Close friends have the majority of tags, distant friends/old friends have a medium amount of tags, and outer circle friends (friends of friends etc) have only a few. Those who have none either hardly know you, or don’t spend much time with you socially.

Anyway, my main point is, this tool is excellent at keeping abreast of all different degrees of friends with little effort. A blog, especially one like mine tend to be, are pretty much just extensions of that. So you might realise what I was up to at the weekend from seeing the pictures and brief status updates – but do you know why I was there, or how I felt about it? Do you know what actual shit went down? Enter the blog.

So it’s not 100% that, but you get a basic idea. The best part is, I can say what I want, when I want, however I want. And if you don’t like it, don’t fucking read it

So: right now I should be doing work on my final year project. Dissertation/Creative Writing Portfolio. But I ain’t. I’m going to TB’s to watch the last 3 weeks of Lost.

And sorry for the blog title, but in reality it’s probably quite accurate. Most of what I write is complete and total self-indulgent bollocks. Soz.

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