Summer is approaching

Hello again! Time for another update I think… I’ve just got my own broadband (woohoo!) with plusnet. It’s been a bit of a faff because BT were going to charge £125 to connect my line, which according to my landlord has already been paid and connected in the past. After doing a little forum research it seems that BT can charge you this AGAIN to reconnect you. You can argue with them and some people have had success with getting it back on for free, but most do not. Plusnet have a sterling rep and they’re based in Sheffield, plus it was only £50 for them to connect the line and the package I’ve gone on is less than £20 a month for broadband and phone.

Basically the point is, I now have internets and this is very good.

Now all I need is a microwave, a telly and a parking space for Growler and we’ve got the full set.

SO. The last few weekends I’ve been giving it some hammer, socially speaking, which has been ace but has also put me in serious debt with the bank of dad. I reason with myself and say that it’s definitely worth it, because there’s actually nothing more important than spending time with the people you really care about. And we’re only young for so long. And we could die tomorrow, so you have to live every day as if it was your last, and all of that crap. But seriously. The weather has been pretty bloody glorious and I’ve felt like I’ve been on holiday. I went to Derby a few weeks ago for Sammy’s hen do part one, we had a meal and got a bit tipsy.

Then the weekend after that, was the Sailor’s Hallam Reunion. This was SUPPOSED to be just for us lot who met in Exchange works all those years ago in 2003, but Beki is in Oz, Emily is AWOL, Zoe couldn’t come etc etc so it ended up being Nipa, Kristy, Yorkshire and I – the only originals. Lydia came out, as did Hem, Nipa’s cuz, and Joshie travelled up much to the delight of the female contingent. On the Friday I caught up with Nipa and Kristy… both of whom are getting married imminently, which is kinda scary. Even scarier is talking about kids etc… I may be an honourary Auntie Gem before I know it!!! ‘Growing up’ is the sort of thing I’ve usually battled, but I think it might be time to consider it. A bit anyway.

It was like 27 degrees and not a cloud in the sky, so we went into town for brunch and shopping and then we got ready leisurely. We ended up going to the Forum for a drinkie, but it was so rammed we decided to head down to the club early. I lost count of how many shots we had… it was such a brilliant night

This weekend (bank holiday), was Sammy’s Hen Weekend in Birmingham.

Now I’ve never been to Birmingham, and for some reason was expecting it to be a bit shit… I don’t know why, I guess nobody ever goes ‘wow, Birmingham is amazing’ – but they effing should. We didn’t get to see as many bars as we’d have liked, and there were a lot of big chains such as Walkabout, but that suited us just fine! The Bullring is what impressed me the most, I died and went to retail heaven. It was also fairly easy to navigate around the city centre. And the architecture was bloody awesome. Seriously. I am going to try and persuade Wendy to come with me to get a dress for Sammy’s wedding

Thanks to Jo everything was organised, we didn’t have to worry about anything except enjoying ourselves. We went exploring on the Friday night and on Saturday we went and did a cocktail masterclass. I wasn’t expecting it to be that good, especially since the cocktail bars in Manchester are so good they can’t really be topped, but it was SUCH a laugh, we all got pretty merry and I think I annoyed the guy who was teaching us by asking a zillion questions. That night we dressed up in 80s gear and generally terrorised the public and out-henned every other hen party, our outfits were UNMATCHED in awesomeness. But what do you expect.

Basically I had an awesome time.

Don’t know what I said in my last blog about my new (potential) job, working for a cute little advertising and marketing company in Sheffield, but the long and short of it is that I went for a 2nd interview, they said they want me, I said I want them, so now we’re just negotiating the terms of our relationship. Hopefully by the end of the summer I’ll be well in there and will impress them with my numerous skillz. It looks like at first I’ll be maxing the tea and coffee making skillz, and telephone answering skillz. But I intend to progress.

Also, those who are friends with me on facebook will have seen that I am currently in what appears to be an on/off relationship with Daniel Fenton. This is mostly the case. After finishing with him and moving back to Sheffield I have now changed my mind… as I am wont to do from time to time. He’s saying all the right things at the moment so we’ll see how it goes. Looking back I’ve generally tended to be in ‘unbalanced’ relationships – by that I mean, one person was significantly more something than the other – not always a bad thing and something can mean that one person compliments the other. It can work nicely. But I think that the ;somethings’ in mine and Daniel’s relationship is quite even. Neither one is prepared to give or take more than is completely reciprocated. This has led to a lot of battles.

I guess we’re just trying to figure out how to be balanced harmoniously. Like everyone else, right?

So that’s about it for now. I’ll let you all know more when I hear back from my grown ups job. Mostly I am looking forward to not being POOR, and building up my shoe collection again

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Same shit different year

OK so I haven’t written this blog since the end of Feb – and actually quite a lot has changed. I don’t even have my diary with me, so I can’t do a chronological update like I usually do (and lets face it, they’re boring as fuck anyway).

The main big news is that I moved back to Sheffield, and then a few weeks later I broke up with Daniel. There are lots of (good) reasons for this, but I’ve learned over the years not to elaborate too much in a blog, some things should be kept just between me and my friends. I also finished working at The Northern, it just wasn’t sensible (or cost effective) to keep travelling to Manchester for work.

So all change really, but I’ve been finding it harder to settle in than I thought I would, I didn’t have any work at all (until last week), and the usual money worries, and I haven’t seen my friends that live in Sheffield very much… completely my own fault. I’ve been lonely but at the same time I haven’t really wanted to socialise that much. Strange… and not like me really. I’m starting to feel a bit better now, and I have some good nights planned so something to look forward to at least.

I had a brilliant bank holiday weekend, I spent it in Manchester with Daniel because it was his birthday. We went for a very civilised, grown up meal, and then got wasted a bit on the Sunday. Strange how I tend to get on better with the guys I love once we’ve split up

Speaking of which, I’ve been seeing Tom Brown very frequently, watching films, Lost (arrghhh) and new series, like Breaking Bad (pretty good – give it a watch). I remember we first watched Lost in French, in Sammy’s room in Paris. Julien copied it for us. We fell in love with Jack (and then Sawyer). And in a few weeks it will ALL be over… I can’t believe it.

This year also seems to be the year of MARRIAGE. Now in the past I’ve been a bit mean about marriage, my official line being that I don’t believe in it, and will never do it, it’s a waste of money etc. Now whilst this is still a little bit true, I think what I mean is, marriage isn’t right for me. But it is probably a good thing to do for other couples. This year, Sammy and Dave, Kristy and Rob, Nipa and Jit and even POPS and Wendy are getting married.

I’ve got to say, it probably would be very nice to have a big shiny diamond.

But anyway.

I’ll probably leave it at this for now… I’ve got more to say but it’s late.

More later.

Loves.

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PS – can’t stop lolling @

Bit of a catch up…

Well, it’s been a while hasn’t it? I’ve been threatening to write for so long, that nobody takes it seriously anymore – like me threatening to leave uni and get a ‘real’ job. Well. It WILL happen. Look.

So… Jesus. So much has happened, it’d be sort of rude not to mention some of it. I wish I could just gloss over it, like… you all know what’s been going on, right?

OK well since my last blog (in fucking September… Jesus), Jonny and I broke up. After the holiday debacle it was only a matter of time. Neither of us were happy really, we’d fallen into the traps that make break up imminent and inevitable. Taking each other for granted, taking anger out on each other for outside problems (family, health, money etc), and we just got to breaking point.

Luckily for me (and this won’t surprise the longest-standing of my friends) I got close to someone else real quick, which massively helped with the heartache. There were whispers of ‘rebound’ but honestly… if we’re being strict about it, technically every boyfriend I’ve ever had has been a rebound of some sort (OK except you Curtis). Who *doesn’t* still have a weensy bit of baggage from past relationships? I can honestly say that every relationship I have had has been so completely different from the other. I don’t think I have a ‘type’, I just know what I’m attracted to and what I’m not. And all of this bollocks about ‘The One’, obviously I don’t buy it. I am attracted to a LOT of guys. Sometimes I have amazing chemistry with virtual strangers. You can’t help that. I think the closest you can get to The One is someone who ticks most of your boxes, a majority of the time, and someone who you can grow and change WITH instead APART FROM. Now *that’s* rare.

Otherwise, relationships just run their course don’t they? They do.

God. Am I feeling cynical at the moment or what?

OK so basically, pretty much straight after Jonny I fell for Daniel, super hot guy from the bar I work in. At first he didn’t want to tell anyone; suited me. Then we sort of went public and a load of shit went down at the northern, which resulted in Daniel leaving and also being evicted from the flat he was sharing with Lulu. So from lack of other options he moved in with Mel & I. It was only supposed to be temporary but we’ve been getting on pretty handsomely (that’s Daniel and I, not Daniel and Mel…) and it’s sort of worked. He’s a fairly difficult boyfriend, but the good stuff outweighs the bad stuff so. And he’s pretty easy on the eyes. Not that that’s important, but, you know. Worth mentioning.

I had a pretty lovely (and drunken) birthday, don’t remember the latter part of it but it was nice having all my mates around me in Manchester, because I’ve felt a bit isolated there. Don’t know what it was… but I just haven’t got stuck into it the way I do in Sheffield. I’ve just been, bobbing along. Know what I mean? Like, I can’t be arsed to make loads of friends. Daniel said that people have said they think I’m attention-seeking and fake, well. Right back at them all to be honest. Seriously, I have so many genuine, good friends in Sheffield, and I just left them all.

So…. So…. I’m moving back to Sheffield. I’ve been looking at apartments (going to live alone like the sad old woman that I am… less hassle), and we’ve got until the 22nd March to move out. I’m sort of sad to be leaving Manchester behind but I am more excited about getting back. I feel like if I go back, I’ll be able to make some *progress*, know what I mean? Graduate, get a job, see my friends. And who knows, maybe I will get in shape. <snigger>

Pretty much that’s how things lie at the moment. Jonny didn’t take the split very well AT ALL, and I worry that I’ve fucked him up beyond repair, but there’s not a great deal I can do about it, over the past 5 months I’ve tried all sorts, I’ve tried seeing him, not seeing him, talking to him lots, not talking to him at all, being nice, being horrid, and nothing works. I miss him quite a lot but like I said before, some relationships just run their course and I think ours just fizzled out. It’s easy to mope about and only remember the good stuff but that’s not realistic. Basically, we split up for a reason and that hasn’t changed. I want to be friends but I don’t think he’s really ready for that just yet. Emma T and Emma M split up too (cursed holiday!!), things are a little tense between them now but they are doing the best they can in the situation. Good job we already discussed custody rights for me (joint). When I get back, things will be easier. It’s really sad… I’m just hoping for the relationship to friends transition, not easy when you’re in each other’s pockets still.

I was going to use this entry to whine about how fat I’m getting, but I can’t really be arsed. I have given up chocolate for 2010 (another abstinence thing – I’ll elaborate another time), but that doesn’t seem to have had an effect on my weight. I’m hovering at around the 9 stone mark. Ideally I think I’d look best at about 8 1/2, but it’s not like proper excess weight, it’s more thin coats of blubber here and there, that only a good diet and regular exercise will help to alleviate (and even that’s not guaranteed). Good diet and regular exercise aren’t really a staple of my modus operandi, shamefully. All I can hope for is a bout of apetite-suppressing illness. Or maybe a short-lived exercise obsession. Or both at the same time, just in time for summer.

Right I’m going to leave it at this for now, I’ll try and post again soon but I can’t make too many promises. These things happen in fits and starts though so maybe expect another entry tomorrow.

Seeya laters gays.

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Moving on…

So I wasn’t sure what to name this blog entry, sometimes I write them and then think of an appropriate title afterwards, I might still do that. Since I haven’t updated since 16th of May, I’ll give you a quick run down of everything of note to date. On May 19th I went to see Derren Brown with Tom Brown - it was basically amazing. I am totally, completely in love with Derren, he’s so intelligent and witty and charismatic. Yes I am aware that he’s gay, and I love him all the more for it. Sometimes I wonder if he could put his abilities to a better use ( a la Paul McKenna), not only could he cure  phobias and make people more confident and just generally improve lives, I know he could do even more than that – but then again who am I to preach to people what they should and should not do with their talents. He’s also an amazing writer <3…

Anyway, later that week I went to Manchester to register with some employment agencies, takes hours of your time and then you sit around for weeks waiting for a job, but it’s got to be done. For the record it’s now 6 weeks later and I’m still waiting for any temp work…

That weekend I borrowed The Range and went to Alton Towers with the SHU Drama crew, which was a pretty awesome day all round, gorgeous weather, spent all day with Beckett (then Liam and Gav) and we had a very relaxed day.

Gav, Beckett, Gem (& Liam!)

The week after that I spent most of my time jobhunting to no avail, and moving stuff across to Manchester from Sheffield – I’ve got so much *stuff* it’s unreal. On the 3rd of June it was Rochelle’s birthday and we popped across to Leeds for some drinkies. We started early in the day so by tea time/early evening I was staggering around and we were all proper tired. By like 1am or something we gave up and went back to Rochelle’s to sleep it off. Jonny and I had to get up in the morning though because he had work and of course I am the taxi driver.

I carried on applying for jobs and also went for some evening/bar work too, which I got interviews for straight away. I went for interviews at Panacea (posh), Prohibition (underground), Loaf (young) and The Northern (cosy). Debi at the Northern offered me a trial shift on the Saturday night. She’s really lovely, and kind of reminds me of Kay, Curtis’ mum. So I worked the shift, and I can tell you it’s an absolute killer. Luckily I caught on really fast and they’ve kept me on, so I now officially work at The Northern!

On the 15th of June, Jordan hired a canal barge as a sort of continuation of Rochelle’s birthday celebrations. Everyone came; Nick & Katie, Pat & Flo, Harry & Jonny. I was totally gutted because I had to go to Uni for a meeting on the Tuesday so I didn’t get to be a part of the main adventures. However I met back up with them in Manchester city centre on the Tuesday night, and slept on the barge. On Wednesday it rained all day, it was quite miserable weather but there was something romantic about it I thought. Some people live on canal barges, and what a life it must be.

On the Wednesday Ryan my baby bro and his girlfriend Lizzy came to Manchester to see us and stay over. We went to the imperial war museum and ASDA, and that’s about it. It was nice having them to stay though

Lizzy & Ryan

Mel - Camp Smells

Jonny & I

 That weekend I did another two shifts at The Northern, which almost finished me. I am getting more used to it, but my poor feet! Think I am going to invest in some MBTs or something like that. As a result I missed Fisher’s 21st birthday (sorry Fish x) back in Sheffield.

Last week it was Nipa’s birthday, then I went to see Brand New with Jonny and his friends at the academy. It was quite hot and sticky, but was actually rather good and I got suitably drunk anyway. Met Mel afterwards and we stayed out even though everyone else bailed. Jonny did a little bit of sick on himself, perhaps in protest at abandonment, and we staggered down to this pub called big hands (or something). Carried on drinking and making dicks of ourselves, then we started chatting to these Americans behind us. Jonny and Tristan had disappeared somewhere. They were like, ‘oh yeah we just came to the UK for the show’, and I said ‘oh I was there too’. They asked what I thought of it, and (not realising who it was) I said ‘well it was OK. It’s impressive how many people come out to see them, and the songs I knew I really liked but the rest was kind of boring. Plus it was too hot’ which fortunately they all thought was hilarious. Then one of the guys told us he was the tour manager, and we were actually sitting with the bassist, drummer and crew, along with Kevin Devine who I’d been chatting complete shit to for the past half an hour. I was a little embarrassed to say the least. But what lovely guys they were!

Pat, Harry, Jonny, Jordan, Rochelle, Nick & Katie

 This week we also found out that Michael Jackson has died. Mel came and woke me up to tell me about it. We watched BBC News 24 for a while. We were all quite shocked. I’m not quite sure what to say about it here, I think everyone has said everything that needs to be said on the subject, his death seems to be just as much of a circus freak show in the media as his life was. My parents always played a lot of music to us whilst we were growing up, and we would listen to Michael Jackson a lot in the car on long journeys. As children we made up dances and routines to his songs and performed them in the front room for the sum of 10p per person. I remember when the tickets were released for the concerts he planned to do here in the UK, and everyone desperate to get them except me. To me, it wasn’t the Michael Jackson I grew up with, just his body like a shell and him not really in there anymore. It’s sad for his kids, and sadder to think that the next generation will never know him alive, but his songs will live on and that’s good enough for me.

This week I’m moving out of Peveril for good, still looking for a full time job, and doing more part time shifts at the bar. I’ve got to get Growler serviced/new tyres/brake pads this week, plus a few other little things.

My skin is bad and I keep falling out with Jonny, it’s stressing me out a bit, but if that’s all I have to worry about then I’m not too unfortunate am I really?

Got loads more to blog about but I’ve run out of time now – more tomorrow I think.

See thee soon.

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Dirty Lesbian Threesome Orgasm Sex – say what?

Hello all – I think they were right when they sang on Avenue Q that the internet is for porn. The funniest thing is, I think you can really learn a lot about someone’s sexual preferences by the porn they search for… in my (limited) experience of browsing through boyfriend’s searches and visited websites, there is always some common feature – from the regular stuff, eg ‘cum shots’ to slightly less regular stuff (not going to mention any in case I incriminate an ex).

Anyway – the reason I’ve labelled this post thus, is that I recently found out that people can search your blog for keywords and post titles and stuff, and this is how to generate ‘traffic’, or people to visit. Well – if you’ve visited (and read this far) and what you were really looking for was dirty lesbian threesome orgasm sex, then you might want to visit this site instead - go on, off you pop.

So far I’ve had next to no people reading (mostly because it’s on my facebook so no need to visit here), so we shall see if our erotic title really does boost readership. To be fair, it’s probably not the kind of reader one wants, but at the moment beggars cannot be choosers.

I also had 6 comments to approve (only just getting used to this wordpress lark), unfortunately they were all about penis enlargement or police car auctions. Hmph.

Anyway. I also joined twitter, as you can see from the widget I added. I am yet to find a truly worthwhile use for it but I suppose it’s there should I need it. At the moment I have like 4 friends or something so feel free to ‘follow’ me, or if you haven’t got an account, set one up and follow me

Right now I should be doing my final year work, it’s due in around 160 hours… that’s quite scary. Facing the possibility of ending up with a shit classification… wondering what *real* impact that will have on my life and if I might just lie about it anyway to get proverbial foot in office door. I’ve been sat here at my laptop for about 6 hours today, and I’d say around 5 of them were spent on ebay, looking at flats in manchester, looking at jobs in manchester, looking at club nights in manchester, looking at cat adoption sites, looking at car hire in malaga, looking at mods for my car (not as chavvy as it sounds), reading other people’s blogs, and of course, wondering wtf is up with facebook when it goes all fucked up and aligned to the left. I have also been disconnected and promptly reconnected to our wireless network around 37 times (fucking cheap bastard internet wireless fucking bastard.)  Sorry but it is tres annoying.

So lately people have been like, ‘so what are you going to do?’ by which they mean, what I am going to do with *the rest of my life*, something I should have had to answer to many years ago, but I have been putting off and staying at uni which was actually a bad thing as I am now well past my sell by date in uni terms, and lack motivation so much that it’s saddening how short I’m selling myself with it all. Anyway let’s not dwell. In terms of life goals, I suppose I’d just like to be happy – and I’m fairly happy now, except for dealing with Other People’s Shit, because when someone asks me for help I just can’t say no. Don’t get me wrong (especially if you’re a recipient of said help), I don’t mind doing it *mostly*, just, I do have my own shit to do and people forget that sometimes. My Pops has been what we kids call ‘on one’ lately, as he has a much larger version of my problem – dealing with Other People’s Shit when he has his own shit to do. And one wouldn’t mind so much, if people did some shit back for you. But THEY NEVER DONE IT.

This is why despite headache-inducing stress from certain things I have tried to keep it to myself and not bother others, especially Pops, and I think others have been following this trend, which would be great, only I’m second in the chain of shit command. If Pops can’t help with your shit (or you don’t want to burden him) ask Gem. (If Gem can’t help you, you’re fucked.) It’s a detestable thing to think about, and doesn’t want thinking about, but you do hope you’ll outlive your parents. Unfortunately for me, this will probably mean assuming the full boatload of Pop’s share of Other People’s Shit. Well I can tell you this for free; and mark my words youngsters, I shan’t be as soft and no mistake.

Pops doesn’t want you to end up destitute and in jail (despite years of help), but Gem – she no care.

OK. Maybe I won’t be that bad. But you’ll have to handle your own shit under my rule.

Enough of that I think.

Other recent events/planned events of note are thus: on Sunday (12th April) it was the 1 year mark for Jonny and I (official mark). We didn’t do much, but we made an amazing tea (I did do some, don’t listen to Jonny. Carrots and parsnips don’t prepare themselves. Mash doesn’t mash itself. And OK I didn’t touch the dead lamb but I did sprinkle seasoning on it, so, eff you) look out for facebook photos of that amazing spread. I didn’t eat the dead lamb (obvs) but I had 4 yorkshire puddings to make up for it. Yorkshire puddings + clear conscience > dead lamb.

Tomorrow I’m meeting Gav – friend and man about town – for an interview for my portfolio. More on that tomorrow I guess. Then it’s Laura’s birthday on Thursday – haven’t seen her in AGES, and no doubt celebrations will be postponed until uni is over, fair enough. It’s also Tanner’s belated birthday get together this weekend at Emma T’s…. got a feeling I’ll have to decline, or at absolute best pop round for an hour or something – annoying as I haven’t seen the gay dames in AGES.

It’s also the performance of the play I’m in – Hitchhiker’s Guide – next week, Tues/Weds/Thurs, which nicely coincided with my CW portfolio hand in, supposedly the culmination of 6 years at uni. Busiest week of my life so far looming I fear.

And what I am doing? Sat here writing a load of shit on a blog, whose only really interested reader is ME.

Right I’m off.

Happy birthday Katie – am looking forward to a night out in Leeds with Jonny’s team… even though I don’t like shouty music/sweaty boys/overenthusiastic body thrashing – hope my passport comes back in time or else I’m in trouble.

Right. Seeya.

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Postscript – I really should stop watching little britain/trailer park boys/curb your enthusiasm/flight of the conchords – as I can no longer say/write anything without their influence.