Hiya. Just woke up… 10am. I suppose I should be grateful or some shit for that. You know, that I don’t have a proper job and can therefore sleep until very late morning/lunchtime.
I have promised myself that today I am going to be extremely productive. Pops has just text me to say that my new passport will cost £72, and do I know I have 3 years left on my current one. I am fully aware that I have 3 years left on my current one, I am also aware that if I have to endure 3 more years of being the ‘frog lady’ I might have to consider being a social recluse. I know everyone says their passport photo is terrible, but mine *really is*. Every time I have had to show it (pretty much every time I do something that requires you to be over 18) I’ve had to withstand sniggers at best, and outright hysteria and even being *turned away* because they don’t believe it’s me.
Being 16/17 wasn’t easy for me, and it is a particularly bad photo – looks like I hadn’t washed my hair in a few days, it was dark at the roots and a gingery colour elsewhere, I had my somerfield uniform on (I can’t find a picture of the old uniform, but it was a polyester candy-striped monstrosity), and I think I’d put as much make up on as possible to try and disguise being so unprepared for a photo that was to last me 10 years. I’d always been told not to properly smile in passport photos, so I sort of did a half-smile/smug grin expression. I basically looked fucking AWFUL.
So I’ve had new ones done. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want a photo that looks better than I am in real life (that might even be worse than having a terrible photo), but as long as it sort of resembles me and isn’t laughably bad.
Sometimes I wish I had a prettier face, but then maybe people wouldn’t take me as seriously. Besides, being 24 might be super-old for uni, but I’ve learnt a lot since I was 16, a couple of ground rules and guidelines to live by, which have served me well in recent times and helped me to prevent repeating some terrible mistakes:
1) fringes are a BAD idea. There is a REASON you grew it out. You are NOT 5 years old any more.
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- BAD IDEA.
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- Aged 5, acceptable.
2) unless the look you’re going for is trampy drag queen, with makeup, less is usually adequate.
3) if your hair really needs washing, don’t tie it up in a ponytail, it looks 10 times worse.
4) if you pick an outfit and you truly feel like a dick in it, especially if it’s really fashionable right now, don’t wear it. Or if you do wear it, don’t be photographed in it.
5) don’t work at Somerfield.
6) doing fake tan yourself: just asking for trouble.
7) never let your sister wax your legs/armpit – ouch.
8 ) white eyeliner all round your eyes? great if you want to look like an alien.
9) if your new shoes hurt the second you put them on, don’t wear them. If they hurt after 30 mins, strap yourself up with plasters before you go out.
10) if your top is a bit revealing and doesn’t support your bosoms (no matter what size they are), jump up and down a bit, and if you pop out or expose yourself, either get changed, or be prepared for that to happen whilst you’re out.
11) I say ‘keys purse phone’ to myself every time I leave the house. That way you don’t get to the till and realise you’ve left your purse on the side.
12) I carry tissues in my bag – haven’t had to ‘drip dry’ or try to covertly wipe snot away for years.
13) don’t expect to find love in a nightclub.
14) boyfriends come and go, but friends are forever (and some boyfriends turn into friends, and forever friends are few in number)
15) we’ve all made mistakes and done things we regret or are ashamed of – don’t let it ruin your life, chin up and move on. You can’t change what you have done, but you can change what you’re about to do.
OK I think I’d better stop the list now, we’re getting into preachy cliche territory :-p
Right I’d better get on with my uni work, have lost a lot of enthusiasm for it now but… final push and all that. You know, I’ve been here since 2003 and I’ve had some amazing experiences and learnt a lot, wouldn’t change a thing, but I’ve never really gotten into uni. It’s a shame, but I’ve tried over and over and it hasn’t stuck. I have had enough.
Now I’ve got 2 weeks to finish my final year work… scary.
It won’t be painless, but at least it will be quick.
