Les examens, proper bof

So it’s coming towards the end of the academic year (thank FUCK), and I have two exams – one on Wednesday 13th and the last one on Monday the 18th. 18thC romance and 20thC fiction respectively.

I tried to hand some work in today, only to find that the deadline was actually last week, which means I’ve missed the deadline, which means I’ve failed the module. It used to be, that you could automatically redo whatever part you’ve failed (ie, resit) in August. However, if you don’t hand SOMETHING in, you just automatically fail. If I’d handed a piece of paper in, I would be allowed to redo it over summer (capped at 40%). Now, because I’m a dickhead, I will have to retake the module next year, which is no biggie in the large scheme of things as I had to come back anyway and won’t graduate til November 2010 in any case. The fact that I am basically 21 aside, I will be almost 26 by the time I graduate.

This is not very good, I admit.

What’s worse is, people don’t want to employ *potential*. They want *skills*.

I went in to Uni today (shock horror, fuck off) and seeing everyone buzzing around the Adsetts, going to their seminars, reading textbooks and journals… most of them seemed really enthusiastic. Seeing them so enthusiastic made me feel a bit enthusiastic. But I’m not that naive: I’ve been here a lot longer than all of them. The enthusiasm wears off almost invariably after 2 to 3 weeks of boring lectures/seminars.

This year I was most disappointed with Literary Editing – this being one of those aforementioned skills that employers want. Turns out our literary editing module actually has nothing to do with literary editing, and from what I could gather (within two seminars, before I stopped going) it was more about arranging poetry recitals from other people… wtf. No thanks.

So that’s that; when you’re old enough to know better, Uni is a load of bollocks.

Anyway, did I tell you about my hair? I cut it all off. Not personally.

Before: pretty bad skin & slightly conjuncty eye. But more hair.

 

 

After: not the same light. Hair covering conjuncty eye – but you can see what I mean. I also look slightly more pleased with myself.

 

I’m still just getting used to it – it actually takes a very similar amount of time to style as before, unfortunately. I’m also having a little trouble with the colour, now that some of it is bleached proper, and some of it is just dyed old school ammonia style – bleach gives it a very singular, platinum blonde colour, ammonia and peroxide dyes can go a little brassy. Doesn’t matter which you have, as long as it’s the same, but I’ve got a sort of two tone effect going on. Will have to sort this before summer.

Also: skin is very, very bad today. Which also happened to be the day I came on… noticing a pattern here. Bad thing is, my periods are long and frequent, which means long and frequent bad skin – seriously, no matter what I do. Am half considering asking if they’ll let me go back on the pill – even just for 6 months to see if it makes a difference. Could do with regulating/lightening my periods again too :-S

Too much information? Soz.

So: this weds I have the 18th C exam. On Saturday it’s Emma M’s eurovision party @ Emma T’s, to which I am going to see if I can invite Lydia as it’s her birthday weekend. The following Monday it’s 20thC fiction exam, then on Tuesday it’s DERREN BROWN. Yes, the man himself. God I hope he talks to me. I am seriously smitten – genius doesn’t really suffice. Then that weekend, I’m borrowing Pops’ car (the RANGE darling….!) and we’re having a SHU Drama trip to Alton Towers. Oh I do hope it’s good weather…

 

Woop.

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Detox and that kinda shizz.

Hello again fair readers, I believe the last you heard was my dissertation panic, well, that’s over now.

And I expected a sense of relief, and I sort of got it, but it was overshadowed by the feeling of guilt at underachieving, knowing that what I handed in was a…. piece of shit. And nothing remotely resembling what I could have done if I’d spent a whole semester on it. Anyway – it’s over now. And there’s no point in me saying ‘I could have done this’ and ‘I’m capable of that’ because if you don’t prove it, it means fucking nothing.

I think the problems I’ve had with uni are so numerous that this is what it has come to. My main gripes have been that there is so little contact time, it’s almost not worth bothering going in. So then you stop going in. Not going in means you don’t make proper bonds with others from your course, so when you DO go in, nobody knows who you are, you don’t have a partner for tasks etc – demoralising at best. This semester I’ve basically been doing a distance course – I’ve done all the reading you see. I do read the lectures online, and all of the stuff we’re studying (even if it is all a load of wank a la Mrs Dalloway). This is how I manage to keep on top.

Anyway I don’t want to talk about uni any more, it’s depressing. Suffice it to say: I have about 4 assignment deadlines and two exams before the end of May, at which time it will be OVER and DONE with, and THANK FUCK. Until next semester of course, where I’ll be going back to repeat a fucking poetry module so that I can actually graduate. Yes you heard me right, I won’t graduate til 2010. I’ll be ALMOST 26. That’s the wrong side of 25, although of course I’ll still be 21 so it’s not so bad.

Got my new passport (ankers pops) which is decidedly less heinous than the previous one, although I do look very washed out, but it does have a chip/transmitter in it which is quite exciting. Hurrah for new ID. Hurrah for still needing ID.

Hitchhiker’s went AMAZINGLY, I love SHU Drama, and pretty much everyone in it. I even made friends with Waters (who apparently doesn’t hate me after all). Final night was awesome, and we did the usual self-congratulatory speeches, applauding and so forth. We’re not proper luvvies but there was a lot of ‘oh you were AMAZING’ ‘no YOU were AMAZING’ going on – nothing wrong with that though. Reminded me a bit of the end of school plays – to be honest they aren’t much different except we manage ourselves and you can’t legitimately get out of lessons to practise. I have to say I was a little disappointed at the lack of interest my family/boyfriend showed in the whole thing, it’s bigger than they realise. Pretty much everyone else’s friends/family/boyfriends went. I suppose mine are all sick of watching me prance around the stage like a dickhead by now. (But you’ll never guess who showed up for me on Weds night? Of course, the illustrious Yorkshire Boy! So he might not have made a special trip, but he came. Bless you YB.) Most of us went to Leadmill and I had too much black sambuca… and was sick, on the dancefloor if I remember correctly. It wasn’t a slurry/slump on the floor kind of sick though, it was more of a ‘oh, there’s some sick. Carry on!’ kind of sick. Which was nice. Met some new friends… strictly platonic of course. Foulksy went to A&E after bashing her skull – I bet it’s a delicate little skull, poor Foulksy. Some people got together openly, and others secretly…

Yes. Repeating poetry is shit but it means I can be part of SHU Drama for another year!

 

So anyway, the main point of this post is to tell you what IS going to happen. Well this week I’m starting a detox diet, which involves, quite simply, fruit and veg, and not much else. This will of course be easier for me as I already shun the flesh of other creatures, but as anyone who knows me will tell you (what a terrible phrase that is), I am not the biggest fan of vegetables – but they have grown on me as I’ve gotten older. Not literally of course that would be gross.

So basically, this diet is: I can eat any veg and fruit I want, as much as I want whenever I want. I can only drink water, the more of which is the better. I can also have unsalted nuts and pulses (like lentils and that kinda shizz). I also have to have some kind of oil (in small quantities) daily.

I have to cut out: salt, bread, eggs, butter, cheese, pasta, potatoes – basically what I normally eat! :-p

I don’t think it will be too hard. Fruit I already like includes: grapes, melons, apples, bananas, coconuts, pineapple, mangos, oranges (most kinds), peaches, and pears. Veg I already like includes: broccoli, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, mushrooms, sweet potatoes (do they count as potatoes though? because I’m not supposed to have them), baby sweetcorn, butternut squash, spinach, green beans, parsnips and cucumber.

Fruit and veg I WILL NOT eat because I HATE: strawberries, kiwi, grapefruit, courgettes, chillies, ONIONS in all their forms, aparagus, aubergine, avocadoes, celery, peppers and tomatoes – I can have tomatoes if they’re mixed in with something else though.

Fruit and Veg I am going to try because I’m not sure if I like them or not: dragon fruit, karela, papaya, passion fruit, physalis, plums, casava, chayote, choi sum, dudhi, eddhoes, mooli, okra, pak choi, plantain, tindori, turia, yam, leeks, turnips, suede, marrow and beetroot.

I know you think I’ve made some of them up, but they’re real. That’s LOADS of stuff I could eat.

Thus commences my fresh food adventure: I’ll let you know how it all goes. I’m looking forward to weighing less, and having clearer skin… and more energy. We’ll see…

I’d better get on with this work anyway – I didn’t do any over the weekend because I went to help Mel move flat, and saw Jonny for a bit. This week we’re going to Leeds for Katie’s birthday, going to see Cancer Bats - cue lots of shouting, drinks getting thrown about, people losing their shoes, random acts of violence and mostly unwanted bodily contact from sweaty strangers. But them lot are pretty cool so it’ll be OK

Woop.

Also, finally, it’s Amanda Taylor’s birthday today, so if you know her, do give her your best wishes. Happy Birthday Amanda! (She’s the philosopher in Durham, and the one who died but didn’t die).

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